MOTHER’S SHADOW: Grandma Soja Reflects on a Painful Childhood and Her Mother’s Struggles

Grandma Soja says her mother’s harsh upbringing was shaped partly by the pressure of caring for many people.

Behind the toughness of retired Lieutenant Colonel Georgina Mensah, popularly known as “Grandma Soja,” lies a childhood she remembers as largely devoid of happy memories with her mother.

Looking back at her early years, Grandma Soja said discipline in her home was severe.

Asked about happy memories from childhood, she responded: “I don’t remember. Not with my mother.”

She recalled how her mother would wait near the mountain they descended after school to ensure her children returned home early.

“If you came in company, my mother, what will happen to you? She will insult you in the presence of everybody,” she recalled.

On another occasion, she remembered returning from secondary school and seeing her mother among other women in the street. Rather than acknowledge her, her mother turned away and left.

For years, those experiences formed part of Grandma Soja’s understanding of her childhood.

But as she grew older, she began to view her mother’s behaviour through a different lens.

Asked what she believed made her mother behave that way, Grandma Soja said she believed it was partly her nature, but also the enormous responsibility she carried.

“I think that is her nature and I think also that the lot of job that she had to do to look after so many people… was stressing her out,” she said.

“She was stressed.”

Despite their difficult relationship, Grandma Soja said her mother continued to assert herself even after her daughter had grown into an accomplished military officer.

She recalled that her mother would sometimes visit her home without warning and attempt to give her instructions.

But by then, Grandma Soja had become an adult who was no longer willing to simply accept every command.

“She will come to your place… and then she will come and give you [instructions],” she recalled.

The relationship had its lighter moments too. Grandma Soja said her mother would sometimes fall silent when challenged.

Looking back, she believes she inherited some of her mother’s strongest characteristics especially her fiery personality.

“Yes. Many, many qualities of being fiery. Very fiery from her,” she said.